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Do you want to become an LGBT foster parent?
LGBT foster parents are needed more than ever, even as the stakes increase. Here’s how to navigate foster care adoption and balance your family’s budget for care costs. Start paying off your credit card debt for free today 7-Step Credit Card Debt Reduction Here.
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What care is and is not
Foster care is a formal arrangement in which a minor is placed in a group home, ward, or private home with a licensed caregiver, known as a “foster parent.” Alternatively, the minor can be placed with a state-recognized family member. The child’s placement is usually facilitated by a social service or government agency.
When families are unable to care for their children, foster care serves as a protective service for children and their families. Circumstances that lead birth families to seek care support for their children include mental illness, homelessness, job loss, substance abuse, poverty, and lack of community or extended family support.
Foster care is the temporary placement of children in a loving, safe and caring family environment.
Learn all about foster care adoption from Jillian Johnsrud:
Jillian is the mother of six children, four of whom were adopted through the foster care system. She and her husband adopted their first foster child when she was only 22 years old. She has since had two biological children and adopted a sibling group through the foster care system.
Jillian joined Queer money® to share her passion for supporting foster children and discuss what LGBT foster parents should know, the costs associated with adopting into foster care, and opportunities to specifically foster or adopt LGBT children.
Jillian shared the process of becoming a foster parent and the key differences between foster care and private adoption. She offered insights into the challenges of working with birth parents and what it means to support children with “high needs.”
The differences and similarities between foster care and adoption
Fostering and adoption are similar in that both involve caring for children who are not your biological parents, with the goal of providing the children with a caring, supportive and loving home.
One of the main differences between foster care and Adoption is temporary fostering while adoption is permanent.
In foster care, the agency or social worker’s goal is to resolve the problems in the child’s home so that the child can return to his or her birth parents. If the birth parents can demonstrate that they can support their child socially, emotionally and financially, the child can return.
In some cases, foster parents may be allowed to adopt the child if it is not possible to return the child to its birth parents. This situation may be coordinated in some states as a “foster-adopt” program, in which parents take the child into their home and have the opportunity to become legally eligible to adopt.
In other situations, social workers may be able to help you identify children who are more likely to be available for future adoption.
Your local social security agency or court usually arranges foster care placement.
Adoptions are legally binding relationships that grant the adopted child all the privileges and rights of a biological child. Sometimes birth parents voluntarily waive their rights because they have decided it is in the best interest of the child.
Foster care and adoption can also differ in terms of contact with the birth parents. For example, most international adoptions are closed, meaning that the child no longer has contact with the birth parents after the adoption is complete.
In contrast, domestic adoptions typically involve contact with birth parents to some degree. Some may include visits or, in many cases, the birth parents are kept updated via email, text or letter.
In a care situation, children are encouraged to maintain regular contact with their birth parents. Court-ordered visits with the birth parents may also be required.
Foster care and adoption also differ in the level of decision-making for the child. Foster parents can make some decisions, but do not have the authority to make important medical decisions or decide how the child goes to church or school.
If you have adopted a child, you can decide where the child goes to school and how he or she receives religious education.
To get answers to your questions about adoption, listen here Queer money®:
Why same-sex foster parents are important
LGBT foster parents are an important part of the foster care system, both economically and because of their unique empathy and ability to deal with the common challenges faced by foster children.
Studies show that foster parents are six times more likely to raise foster children compared to same-sex couples. Without gay support, the U.S. would lose between $87 million and $130 million in child care.
As an LGBT foster parent, you are likely to show special empathy in supporting foster children who may struggle to feel different from their peers who lead “normal” family lives.
Additionally, you can be a positive role model for LGBT foster children who may face rejection because of their sexual orientation.
LGBT children in the foster care system need role models who look like them
There are many LGBT children in the foster care system who need role models who look like them.
Accordingly A Pediatrics Study 201930.4% of youth living in foster care identify as LGBTQ and 5% as transgender, compared to 11.2% and 1.17% of those not in foster care. LGBT children are considered “highly needy” in most states, which unfortunately makes it more difficult to place them.
Foster families for children with special needs
For several reasons, LGBTQ people and same-sex couples are more likely to foster and adopt children with special needs. This presents a unique set of challenges. For LGBT parents and same-sex couples, for example, creating a financial plan for children with special needs in the event their parents die is a consideration. Another consideration is segregating money for children with special needs to allow them to continue receiving public benefits.
Luckily, we spoke to Minoti Rajput Queer money® about how to plan for all of this.
For more great information about fostering and adopting children with special needs, check out:
Being an LGBT foster parent
The journey to becoming an LGBT foster parent presents unique obstacles when it comes to navigating government agencies, facing discrimination, and finding support.
States that allow LGBT people to be admitted to kindergartens
All states allow LGBT foster parents, and nondiscrimination in foster care laws exist to protect LGBT families and foster parents from discrimination by foster care officials and agencies.
Unfortunately, Some states allow state-licensed child welfare agencies to deny services and placement for families and children, which include same-sex couples and LGBT people, based on different religious beliefs.
Challenges Facing LGBT Foster Parents
Two of the biggest challenges aspiring LGBT foster parents face are discrimination and finding support.
The Movement Advancement Placement Project (MAP) finds that 40% of the LGBTQ population lives in states that do not provide specific protections from discrimination in the care system based on gender identity or sexual orientation.
Additionally, 20% of the LGBTQ population lives in states where state-licensed social service agencies are permitted to deny placement and care to families and children—including same-sex couples and LGBTQ children—based on their religious beliefs.
While opposite-sex parents typically easily find support from “mom groups,” churches, and school organizations for help caring for their foster children, LGBT foster parents may lack this support due to conscious or unconscious discrimination.
FAQs from Prospective LGBT Foster Parents
What different types of care are there?
Foster care includes traditional care, tribal care, medical/therapeutic care, emergency/residential care, kin/relative care, and respite/respite care.
It is important to note that different care options vary in terms of time and financial resources required. For example, medical/therapeutic care for a foster child generally requires more time and expense than traditional care based on medical or therapy appointments.
Should I disclose my sexual orientation or gender identity?
It is understandable that as a couple or individual you may feel uncomfortable disclosing your sexual orientation or transgender status for care purposes.
Admittedly, some states have laws that do not protect LGBTQ people from discrimination. However, providing your information early in the care process will help you make optimal placement decisions for you, the birth parent, and the child care provider.
If you live in a state that restricts the placement of LGBTQ couples in foster care, consulting with an LGBTQ advocacy group or an LGBTQ family law attorney can be very helpful in successfully navigating the process. Legal assistance is available through the National Center for Lesbian Rights Legal Helpline at 800-528.6257 or by email (email protected).
What are the rewards and challenges of being a foster parent?
The benefits of being an LGBT foster parent are many, including:
- Providing a loving, caring and safe environment for the child until he or she can return to his or her biological parents
- Be a positive role model for foster children who identify as LGBT
- Establishing an encouraging and supportive relationship with the child’s birth parents
Unique challenges may include:
- LGBT Education: Although same-sex couples are welcomed by many care facilities, they can still face prejudice and discrimination.
- Misconceptions about how same-sex parenting affects children: Although research shows that same-sex adoption has no negative effects on children, unfounded beliefs are widespread.
How to become a foster parent
To become a foster parent in the United States, a license is required to be eligible to care. The licensing process is different for each state and in some cases may vary within counties.
1. Find contact information for agencies in your state
Both public (tribal, county, and state agencies) and private agencies provide foster care.
Information about state authorities can be found at Child welfare information portal – government resources and check the Foster and Adoption Directory.
The Department of Children and Family Services or the Department of Human Services have also approved agency listings. Internet searches are also a good way to find local agencies. For example, search for “Foster Family New Jersey” or “Becoming a Foster Parent New Jersey.”
Listings of county and local agencies can also be found at AdoptUSKids And Information portal on child welfare.
2. Call the agency
First, call your chosen agency(s). The agency will request information such as your name, phone number, email address, and address so that it can send you certification/licensing and agency information.
If there are multiple care placement agencies in your area, be sure to contact them all to have the opportunity to find the best solution for you. Depending on your state, you may be able to choose between a private or public (county or state) foster care agency.
3. Complete the initial consultation
Depending on the agency, you will either take part in an informational interview or have the initial interview at your home.
During the information meeting, the agency reviews the foster parent’s responsibilities, roles, and type of children the foster agency is caring for.
At a meeting at home, in addition to the initial information about the foster parents, the agency can begin gathering information about you.
At the first meeting either at the agency or at home, it is common practice for the licensed agency representative to provide you with forms and an application to fill out. You should also receive a copy of the state nursing regulations and rules.
4. Determine your skills and interests
The licensing process is structured to help you and the agency…
Determine whether foster care is a good fit for your family and which children you would best care for
Determine if you meet the licensing requirements and help them…which specific children would be a good fit for your family
5. Complete the family assessment
The family assessment or “home study” is conducted to obtain information about each family member and determine your ability to care for children. You will likely be asked to complete several questionnaires and fill out your social history.
The comprehensive assessment includes questions about your interests, relationships and childhood.
Agencies often conduct family assessments in group sessions combined with training and orientation, but some also conduct an individual initial assessment and orientation. Formal assessment curricula may include the Model Approach to Partnerships and Parenting (MAPP) or Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education (PRIDE).
6. Provide references
You must provide the agency with three or more references who can assist the agency in determining your interests and skills. Referees either complete a telephone interview with a licensing representative or receive a form in the mail to complete. State law typically requires that references be kept confidential and cannot be viewed by potential foster parents.
7. Conduct background checks
Background checks include a standardized child protection and criminal history check. Authorization from the authority is required to carry out the check and fingerprints. The authorization and fingerprint information is used to (verify) FBI, state and local databases.
A previous conviction or arrest does not immediately disqualify you from being placed in foster care. The determination includes the nature of the charge and when it arose. Background checks are critical to ensure that individuals with a history of potentially injured children are not considered for foster care.
8. Conduct a home safety check
Agencies are required to carry out a security check of your apartment or house to ensure that it is safe for children. The licensing representative will have a checklist that must be completed. The aim of the checklist is to protect you and your family members.
In some cases, homes may be required to be inspected by a building inspector or fire marshal. You may also be asked to provide proof of pet vaccinations and drinking water quality on properties with wells.
9. Complete pre-service training and orientation
Before you receive a license or have a child added to your family, many states require you to complete 10 to 30 hours or more of training. Preparation requirements may also include first aid and CPR training.
10. Get a license
At the end of the process, the licensing officer prepares a written report with recommendations. Typically, the recommendations go into detail about which children are best suited for your family and what areas of training you may need. The employee then submits the relevant documents to the licensing authority so that the license can be issued.
Most states require an actual permit to be issued in order to have children in your home.
How to financially plan for becoming a foster parent
What does the state pay for?
Each state differs in the specific basic monthly payment paid to foster parents to cover their child’s basic needs such as transportation, clothing, food and personal expenses.
Each state also offers different reimbursement rates depending on the category of needs of the particular child you are hosting.
The payments are non-taxable government grants intended for the child’s care – not money used for the mortgage payment or personal vacation.
Health insurance for all foster children, including mental health and behavioral health, is paid for by the state.
What do I have to pay as a foster parent?
Because in many cases your basic state monthly payment does not come close to covering your foster child’s basic needs for transportation, clothing, food and personal expenses, you are responsible for making up the difference.
What tax relief is available for foster parents?
Although foster children are often not entitled to the same deductions and adoptive or biological children are counted, two significant tax breaks may apply:
1. Care payments
Care payments from state government, local government and child placement agencies are classified as non-taxable income. The logic is that the funds are used to support the foster child and are not paid out as regular taxable income.
2. Care costs
Your unreimbursed care expenses may be deductible as a charitable donation if the deductions are itemized.
If the organization or agency that placed the child with you is eligible to receive charitable donations, the expenses are deductible. On the other hand, if the organization cannot accept donations, your unreimbursed expenses may count as support you provided to the child.
You are entitled to claim the child as a dependent if you provide at least half of the child support and meet other requirements.
Entitlement to a foster child
To add the foster child to your tax return, go to the “Dependents” screen and select “Foster Child.” The dependent exemption may be applied to your return provided the specific requirements are met.
How can you assess whether you can afford to adopt into foster care?
Just as you prepare to purchase your dream home or your next vehicle, you should prepare a careful review of your family’s finances to determine if and when you can afford foster care.
An easy way to find out whether funding fits into your current budget is to create a financial overview and expense analysis:
1. Take a financial snapshot
Use a financial snapshot tool to perform an instant money health check. Once you know your starting point, you can create a concrete plan.
2. Conduct a spending analysis
If you haven’t done a spending analysis recently, you may be unpleasantly shocked to find that you’re generating a healthy income but wasting dollars through poor spending decisions.
Our SThe pending analysis tool is available here in the Budget Buster Bundle helps you determine exactly where your money is going and helps you figure out what tweaks are needed to optimize your spending.
As part of the expense analysis, provide an estimate of the costs of care you will have to pay beyond what the government funds. Make sure you overestimate by 10 to 25% for unexpected expenses.
Find out everything about our spending analysis here Queer money®:
3. Create a family budget
After analyzing your expenses, the next step is to create a family budget before beginning the caregiving process.
In addition Queer money® Podcast, we share how that Budget Buster Package can help you take control of your money and budgeting like a blast!
It helps you and your family create a realistic budget, have more money left at the end of the month, and build a solid financial foundation.
Create the best budget ever Queer money®:
Resources for LGBT Foster Parents
Below are resources to support you on your foster parenting journey:
LGBT support organizations
It’s never too early to learn how to teach personal finance to your foster or adopted children. Watch this video we created in collaboration with Prudential to learn more about raising financially wealthy children.
Lately, start planning how to raise your children well financially with this video sponsored by Prudential:
Contact Jillian about LGBT foster parents
Resources for LGBT Foster Parents
Michelle Beauclair is a Texas-based freelance writer who creates blog posts that engage readers and increase conversions. She is a helicopter horse and dog mom whose favorite music artists include 2Cellos and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Their customers include Debt Free Guys, Manna Pro and Standlee Forage. View her portfolio below Beau Clair Media.