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Help Us Adopt makes adoption easier for you
Growing our families has never been easy for LGBTQ people, and too many states are making it harder. Luckily, there is an organization that wants to help. Here’s everything you need to know about Help Us Adopt. Start paying off your credit card debt for free today 7-Step Credit Card Debt Reduction Here.
What you find here:
Hear from Becky Fawcett, founder of Help Us Adopt:
Becky discussed the legal options for LGBTQ adoption and how Help Us Adopt also helps the LGBTQ community.
How Help Us Adopt started
Help Us Adopt helps all Couples and individuals receive grants to cover adoption costs and it is the only non-discriminatory adoption grant program in the United States. It serves all genders, ethnicities, sexual orientations, marital statuses and races. Includes international adoptions, foster care, and domestic adoptions and the application is free.
In 2007, Becky and Kipp Fawcett founded the nonprofit organization HelpUsAdopt.org, a national 501(c)(3) adoption grant program to simplify the adoption process for all families.
Becky and Kipp used the problems they encountered adopting their own children as a starting point to financially support adoptions. And that’s exactly what it did!
According to the Wall Street JournalIn 2017, the organization's grants helped 38 families adopt 41 children. To date, over 230 grants have been awarded totaling over $2,000,000.
The comprehensive Help Us Adopt grant is available to all families
Help Us Adopt provides financial support with significant solution-focused grants of up to $15,000. This is critical for many LGBTQ individuals and families.
LGBTQ adoption in America
The good news is that according to recent studies on same-sex adoptions, adoption by gay couples is increasing. Compared to heterosexual couples, same-sex couples are six times more likely to raise foster children and four times more likely to raise adopted children. This could be because we know what it’s like to not be accepted. Whether true or not, LGBTQ families help children in need through adoption.
That’s why Help Us Adopt’s work is so important.
LGBTQ Adoption Statistics
You may be surprised to learn that millions of children in the United States live with at least one gay parent and that millions of LGBTQ people are interested in adoption.
- According to LifeLongAdoptions.com, an estimated six to 14 million children nationwide live with at least one gay parent.
The number of LGBTQ people interested in adoption in the United States is estimated at two million. - Four percent of all children adopted in the United States are raised by lesbian and gay parents.
- An estimated 22,000 adopted children are raised by more than 16,000 same-sex couples in the United States.
- In the United States, same-sex parents are four times more likely to raise an adopted child than same-sex parents. Among couples raising children under 18 at home, 3% of opposite-sex parents have an adopted child, compared to 13% of same-sex parents.
- California is home to the largest number of adopted children in the United States – over 16,000 who live with gay and lesbian parents.
- The average age for adoptive parents is 44 for opposite-sex and 42 for same-sex.
That’s not all. According to a study by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, “One in five same-sex couples (21.4%) are raising adopted children, compared to just 3% of opposite-sex couples, and 2.9% of same-sex couples have foster children.” compared to 0.4% of opposite-sex couples.”
For this reason, LGBTQ people and families who want to adopt should have the opportunity to do so, and neither the government nor lack of money should deny them and these children happiness.
LGBTQ Adoption Laws
LGBTQ couples face different and unique legal challenges in the adoption process.
FindLaw reports that LGBTQ couples face unique legal challenges when adopting. For example, many states have special rules for lesbian and gay adoption, and even if a child is born into a same-sex partnership, different rules may apply to both parents, especially if the couple is unmarried.
Many states have special rules for lesbian and gay adoption. With all the changes that come with marriage equality, many state constitutions have outdated language that often inadvertently creates challenges for the adoption process for LGBTQ people.
Typically, states that restrict adoptions to married LGBTQ couples do so based on the religious rights of adoption agencies.
These are the unique LGBTQ concerns when it comes to adoption
1. Religious freedom laws
According to The Christian Science Monitor, religious freedom laws have made interstate and local placement agencies a battleground for religious freedom advocates and those supporting LGBTQ equality.
Many Republican states have passed religious freedom laws that allow religious organizations to refuse to place children with LGBTQ couples or those who do not share their religious beliefs.
Fortunately, Democratic states have enacted nondiscrimination rules for foster care and adoption agencies that receive federal funding.
Religious freedom laws can present a hurdle in the adoption process for LGBTQ families. In many Republican states, religious freedom laws allow faith-centered authorities to refuse to place children with same-sex couples.
In contrast, lawmakers in Democratic states have established anti-discrimination policies for foster care and adoption agencies that receive federal funding.
2. The Trump administration and Republican attacks
The Trump Administration has only exacerbated our challenges: In late 2019, the Trump Administration floated a proposal that would allow faith-based adoption and foster care agencies to continue receiving taxpayer-supported funding, even as LGBTQ families and others due to beliefs would be excluded due to their religious affiliation.
That’s why LGBTQ families need all the resources we can get – thank you, help us adopt. That’s why it’s so important (we know we’re speaking to the choir) to vote.
3. The increased costs of circumventing these laws
According to Adoption.org, adoptions through private agencies can cost between $12,000 and $25,000, with the average program costing about $18,000. There are many ways to adopt a child, and each involves different costs, including home study (see below) and legal fees. Depending on possible arrangements with the birth mother, some or all of her medical costs may also be borne by you as the adoptive parent.
Types of adoption | Lower estimated costs | Higher estimated costs |
---|---|---|
Adoption into foster care | $0 | $2,500+ |
Adoptions through licensed private agencies | $12,000 | $25,000+ |
Independent adoptions | $8,000 | $34,000+ |
Facilitated/Unlicensed Adoptions | $5,000 | $40,000+ |
International adoptions | $20,000 | $40,000+ |
Additional adoption costs for same-sex couples
A unique expense for many same-sex couples is the cost of adopting a second parent. Many states do not allow two people of the same sex to apply to adopt the same child. So one partner must apply to adopt a child and then the other partner must apply for a “second parent adoption” of the same child.
A second parent adoption costs between $2,000 and $3,000, attorney Elizabeth Schwartz said in episode 29 of the Queer money® Podcast.
4. The growing number of states is making it easier to deny LGBTQ adoptions
Another challenge to LGBTQ adoptions is that more states are making it easier to deny adoptions through laws protecting religious foster care and adoption agencies and limiting the organizations to working exclusively with families who adhere to their religious beliefs.
In the past three years, at least eight states, including Texas, Alabama, Michigan and South Dakota, have implemented such restrictions.
5. The hundreds of thousands of children in foster care
There are currently over 400,000 children living in foster care in the United States. According to the New York Times, over 114,000 have no right to return to their families and are available for adoption.
These children need a loving home. Therefore, any LGBTQ person or family who wants to adopt should be able to adopt.
LGBTQ adoption process
Hear how a gay couple started their queer family:
Our friends Christopher and Jonathan share how to prepare for the adoption process, including adoption financial considerations and legal fees.
LGBTQ foster family
More good news is that the U.S. foster care system is extremely welcoming to the LGBTQ community and supports any adult who can provide a supportive and loving family.
- Of the more than 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system, 20,000 will “age out” without being adopted.
- Almost 40% of these children are identified as LGBTQ
On ours Queer money® podcast, “Becoming a Parent through Foster Care Adoption,” with Jillian Johnsrud, founder of Montana Money Adventures and mother of six children, four of whom were adopted into foster care, shares her insights on the LGBTQ adoption process in foster care.
The podcast’s many topics include what it’s like to be a foster parent, the costs associated with adopting into foster care, and how you can support foster children without adopting them.
Jillian also shares a resource list for LGBTQ foster parents.
Learn about Jillian’s real-life home study experience and more:
International LGBTQ adoptions
Of course, fostering and adoption are not the only way for LGBTQ people to expand our families. In addition Queer money® we talk to Adrian in Tel Aviv about his experiences negotiating the international aspects of queer family planning.
Adrian and his husband’s family planning journey began with adoption and five years later moved on to surrogacy, which was the ideal solution.
Find out all about Adrian’s experiences:
How to Find an LGBTQ-Friendly Adoption or Foster Care Agency
Start locally. A good place to start is to ask LGBTQ adoptive parents or agencies in your area for their agency recommendations.
- To broaden your search, click here to find one LGBTQ Community Center near you.
- Also visit the Human Rights Campaign website for their “All children – all families” List of participating agencies. HRC’s website lists contact information for many LGBTQ-inclusive adoption agencies throughout the United States.
The process of the adoption home study
So what is a home study?
Although they sound scary and many prospective parents worry about them, home study is an important part of the adoption process for both the parent and the child. A home study is a requirement for all adoptions, including domestic, international, foster or private adoptions, older children or infants. It includes a life overview with details on finances, personal relationships, and criminal background checks.
The check serves to legally establish a stable family environment before a child is placed in a home. Many of these children come from demanding families, so it is particularly important to place them in an environment where they can thrive.
It is recommended that you begin the home study process immediately, as this is often required by adoption professionals before they even begin the process of matching a family with a child or birth mother.
What does a home study involve?
Home study varies, as do its requirements, and the adoption evaluation process always involves multiple steps and extensive documentation.
Home visits may include, but are not limited to:
- Submitting personal documents such as marriage certificates and birth certificates
- Adoptive parents are interviewed by a home study expert
- Home visits by a social worker
- Character references are recalled
What are the steps of an adoption home study?
1. Find an adoption home study provider
Typically, a certified social worker from a child placement agency or another social worker conducts the home study. The home study provider can help you with expectations for the process.
Go to 1-800-Home Study to find home study providers by state.
Other home study resources include:
2. Completing the Home Study Application
Most often, the agency a family works with provides the application and information packet. To fill out the report, you will need various documents such as proof of income, tax returns and medical records. Your home study provider will explain all of this to you.
3. Meet with a social worker for a home inspection and interviews
After submitting the application and reviewing the documents, a social worker will conduct interviews and home visits.
The interviews help the social worker understand your reasons for adopting. The assessment will also examine your readiness for adoption, including financial readiness as well as your general personality and parenting approach.
Your living environment will also be checked for child safety.
4. Completing the Home Study Report
Your social worker will prepare a home study report. The agency needs the report to obtain the “active family” designation for families whose profiles are shared with potential birth mothers.
Courts and state governments also require the report to confirm legal placement.
New Jersey expands access to LGBTQ adoption with new laws – no home study required
As the Hudson Reporter shared, on January 15, 2020, Gov. Phil Murphy thankfully signed new legislation expanding access to LGBTQ adoption.
Aspiring LGBTQ parents can now fortunately bypass the long and costly adoption process. The new law exempts qualified parties from the requirement to complete a home study, background checks, or appear in court for a hearing.
The law applies to registered, married lesbian and gay couples who use a donor’s genetic material to achieve pregnancy.
4 Ways to Prepare Financially for Adoption or Expanding Your Family
Getting a $15,000 grant from Help Us Adopt is great, but if the rest of your finances aren’t in order, you run the risk of being denied an adoption or having your adoption delayed. We have two tools to ensure you and your money are ready to grow your family.
1. The money guide for couples
The Money advice for couples is a financial plan created by a same-sex couple (you) for same-sex couples. It will help you and your partner or partners be on equal financial terms. We’ll help you take the basic steps to make your money work for you, save money for your adoption, and take important steps to protect your partner and future children – create a will and get life insurance.
For $27 you and your family will receive a lifetime of financial security. Register by clicking here.
2. The Budget Buster package
Then sign up for Budget Buster Package to get exactly the same budget that we and all our Credit Card Pay Off Plan members use. Not only will you get a budget you can live with, we’ll help you find money you didn’t know you had, helping you and your family have more money left over at the end of your month .
Also available for $27, the Budget Buster Bundle is a great addition to the Couples Money Guide and provides you with the solid financial foundation that many American families desire. Click here to get your access today!
3. The Adoption Loan and Adoption Assistance Program
The IRS gives adoptive parents a federal tax credit for a re-adoption in the year the child is adopted, not for a second-parent adoption (i.e. your spouse adopts your child or vice versa).
For adoptions completed in 2019, this federal tax credit is $14,080 per child. For adoptions completed in 2020, the federal tax credit is $14,300. The credit, which is not a refund, can only be claimed once per child and should be claimed on the parent or parents’ tax return.
Because this is a federal tax credit, the benefit is only realized if you have a federal income tax liability, meaning you have qualified earned income in the filing year. The modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) to qualify for 2020 starts at $211,160 and ends at $251,160. That means if you make less than $211,160 and more than $251,160, you are not eligible for the adoption credit, and your credit depends on where your MAGI falls in that range if you qualify.
Likewise, expenses such as adoption fees, legal fees, court fees, adoption costs (including food and lodging), re-adoption fees for adopting a foreign child, and other fees directly related to the adoption may be tax deductible.
Always speak to your tax advisor before filing your taxes.
4. The Special Needs Adoption Tax Credit
If you adopt a child from the United States who has been determined by a state to have special needs, you will likely be eligible for the full tax credit, less any adoption-specific deductions, as noted above, $14,080 in 2019 and $14,300. dollars in 2020.
To be clear, the IRS definition of “children with special needs” is not the same as the general definition, and the special needs adoption tax credit applies only to U.S. children adopted in the United States.
Again, always speak to your tax advisor before filing your taxes.
For more help adopting a child with special needs, we interviewed Minoti Rajput, a certified financial planner and Chartered Special Needs Consultant (ChSNC), on the site Queer money® Podcast. Minoti shared a wealth of information to help adoptive parents of children with special needs care for their child even after their parents die.
Listen to Minoti talk about introducing special education teachers Queer money®:
Pros and Cons of LGBTQ Adoption
Benefits of LGBTQ adoption
More good news is that LGBTQ parents enjoy benefits that apply to all adopting parents, such as:
- Raising a child who needs a supportive and loving home
- Building a special bond and relationship with the child’s family of origin
- Experience the joy of being a parent and sharing life with a child
Additionally, children adopted by same-sex couples may benefit from being raised to be more accepting and understanding of diversity. We can all agree that we need more of it.
Challenges in LGBTQ Adoption
Unfortunately, as American Adoption reports, LGBTQ couples often face unique challenges in the adoption process:
- International Gay Adoption: In general, it is more difficult for LGBTQ couples to adopt internationally than domestically. Not all countries allow gay adoption. Therefore, make sure you do thorough research.
- Undocumented Beliefs About How Gay Adoption Affects Children: Although research shows that same-sex adoption has no negative effects on children, it is still a common misconception.
- LGBTQ parenting: Although acceptance of same-sex couples in adoption has increased, same-sex parents and their children can still face discrimination and prejudice.
How to pass on your money knowledge
We’ve all said we wish we had learned about personal finance in school or from our parents. Becoming a parent can help you break the cycle of misconceptions about money.
We partnered with Prudential to create a short video on how to raise frugal kids.
Debt Free Guys and Prudential Help Raise Financially Affluent Children:
Topics covered with Becky from Help Us Adopt
Becky’s adoption story
- Despite medical intervention, could not have a child
- Spent $82,000 trying to get pregnant (five armored personnel carriers)
- I now have two adopted children
- I ended up spending $190,000 to start a family
Why Becky founded Help Us Adopt
- Adoption costs $40,000: “What if I needed help?”
- Wanted to offer services as a volunteer publicist and was looking for adoption grant programs
- Most defined “family” as a white man and woman who worship a certain way
- Wrote a business plan for the country’s only non-discriminatory grant program
- Offers grants of up to $15,000, helping families reach the finish line
How Help Us Adopt serves the LGBTQ community
- 18-19% of grants go to LGBTQ families
- I’m looking for more LGBTQ applicants
- $50,000-$80,000 = typical household income range
- Based on the belief in family equality
- Individuals AND couples can apply
The Legal Paths to Adoption for LGBTQ Families
- Care system (LGBTQ friendly, offers monthly stipend)
- Domestic adoptions of newborns
- Only two international programs
How to start the adoption process
- Find an adoption agency or attorney
- Participate in a valid home study
- A legal document required for issuance
The Personal Statement portion of the Help Us Adopt application
- Be honest about why you are asking for help
- Would you like to know your personal story?
How Help Us Adopt grants are awarded
- Pay the bill directly to the adoption expert
- Non-taxable, no loan (no conditions)
Help Us Adopt is a peer-to-peer fundraising program
- Create a page, raise small donations
- Participate in seasonal promotions (e.g. Mother’s Day)
- Design your own for your birthday
- You don’t have to donate yourself
Help us with the Faces of Adoption initiative.
- The social project, new post every Friday
- Tell adoption stories (e.g. Scott Hamilton)
- Stronger, more positive voice
Resources to help you get started
Michelle Beauclair is a Texas-based freelance writer who creates blog posts that engage readers and increase conversions. She is a helicopter horse and dog mom whose favorite music artists include 2Cellos and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Their customers include Debt Free Guys, Manna Pro and Standlee Forage. View her portfolio below Beau Clair Media.